A little more than 20 questions, Part 2

As promised, my answers to the questions I skipped the first time…

Feel free to ask more – I may make this a regular thing.  And if I missed any, let me know!

If you had $5 million dollars and couldn’t spend it on yourself what would you do with the $$????

I would make sure my parents and children (and a few close friends) were taken care of first. The rest I’d use to set up a foundation or some other kind of non-profit organization. Ideally, it would be one that benefited special needs children in some way – maybe through music or another form of art. And as part of that, I’d love to set up a scholarship or grant to hire professionals (like yours truly) who would kill to change careers and do something charitable while pursuing their creative passions, but can’t afford to do so.

If there was anything left, I’d buy a vineyard 😉

What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?

Ice skate in Rockefeller Center at Christmas time.

Do you know the game “F”, marry, kill? Who would be your three choices?

The celebrity version, I take it?

F:  Adam Levine (mostly because I can’t marry a boy prettier than I am)

Marry: Jimmy Fallon.

Kill: Let’s just say I don’t need the Secret Service after me for my answer…

You are obviously very open and comfortable about your sexual desires (which is awesome, no judgements from me), but there are many who believe that being a multiple divorcé, single mother with a (hopefully) active sex life as being something less than societally acceptable. How do you handle the criticisms and stigmas that people put out, if you’ve experienced them?

Well, if you know me at all, you know I don’t give a FUCK what other people think of me or my choices. The only opinions which ultimately matter are those of my children. That being said, it seems the same people who tend to judge are the ones cheating on their spouses or embezzling money from their church or snorting coke off a hooker’s ass crack.  I remember one guy came at me hard on Instagram one day about a year or so ago.  I typically don’t feed into their nonsense, but he was so offensive and ridiculous that I had to say something.  He just kept attacking me and anyone who tried to stand up for me with increasingly mean and downright disturbing comments.  And as I looked more closely at his profile, it was obvious he had been rejected by women more than a few times.  But instead of turning his attention inward and maybe trying to figure out why he had been rejected before, he started attacking  a woman he didn’t even know, trying to degrade, demean and belittle me in some failed attempt to take back power or control from the women who had hurt him.  That is unfortunately the M.O. for a lot of the internet trolls so their opinions matter not one bit to me.

And so what if I’ve been divorced twice (actually I’m not officially divorced the second time yet so really only once…but who’s counting)? Does that actually say something about me as a person?  Does staying married but being absolutely miserable somehow make someone a better person?  If you had any idea how many married men tell me they have an “arrangement” or that their marriages are on the rocks, all in the hopes of getting in my pants, you’d know my status as a divorcée is pretty low on the judgment scale.  Is my first divorce any more justified because my ex left me for one of our friends four months after I miscarried our first pregnancy and he fell apart and into her arms? Does my leaving my second husband because he was an abusive, bipolar jerk-off who was out spending $600 a month on pot while I busted my ass working 65 hours a week, struggling to pay bills and raise two kids (one of whom has special needs) basically alone, make me less of a target for someone’s judgment or criticism?  Find me someone above reproach, and I’ll pelt her glass house all day long.

And don’t get me started on the double standard between genders when it comes to casual sex…there’s not enough expletives for me to properly address that one. Except I will say this. Guys who are all about ogling sexually provocative girls (online, in a magazine, at a bar), but who could never date a girl “like that” should have the word “hypocrite” branded on their balls.

What interests you the most? (Space, time, biology, history, hobbits etc)

I’d have to say music. The ability for a series of notes strung together with some words to transport me to a different place or reduce me to tears in 10 seconds flat is fascinating to me.
I’m not sure what kind of law you practiced previously, but I’d love to know what your thoughts on jury nullification are!

I was predominantly a civil litigator, but did for a brief time handle some criminal cases. I can’t say I’ve ever dealt with jury nullification first-hand, but I certainly know that it exists. Having not been directly affected by it, I’m probably not the best person to render an opinion on its ultimate validity.  But I do have some thoughts I can share. I think anytime you call on a group of people to make a (typically) unanimous decision, you run the risk that the personal agendas of the more outgoing members may be foisted upon the meeker members. Sociological and psychological influences don’t disappear just because they’re wearing their juror hats, which is one of the issues inherent in a jury system. And while I may agree with some of the outcomes as a result of nullification, for example, in minor drug possession cases, one cannot lose sight of the fact that nullification occurs because under the facts of the given case, the jurors could not otherwise absolve the defendant of the charges.   The fact remains that in those scenarios, the evidence has clearly established that laws have been broken, and it is not the function of the jury to ignore those violations.  If people believe that specific laws are unjust, then I urge them to use the vehicles available to them to change the laws themselves.  Educate. Organize. Protest (peacefully).  Get out and lobby for the cause, write their local politicians, or maybe even become one themselves. That’s the beauty of this country and the rights afforded us as its citizens.

What is your preferred alcoholic drink of choice?/What is your favourite drink?

I’d say Cabernet, followed by gin and then cider (because gluten problems).

What is your favorite thing to do to relax?

I can’t limit it to one thing since it depends a lot on my mood.  In no particular order I’d say the top 5 are (1) driving on a rural road on a sunny summer day with the sunroof open, windows down and music blaring; (2) sitting on the beach at around 5 p.m. reading a book; (3) sipping a glass of wine by a crackling fire; (4) getting my back tickled/scratched; and (5) orgasms.

Who is the person you would be most nervous meeting??

I don’t get nervous meeting people that often, but I think meeting someone like Tina Fey would make me sweat a bit.  I just find her to be so incredibly funny with the kind of edge that really sets her writing and comedy apart.

Alive or dead. Who would you want as a dinner guest…and why?

I used to really struggle with how I would answer this question if ever asked, but I think now I’d say my grandmother. She was an incredibly important part of my life growing up, and during the last 10 or so years of her life she suffered with Alzheimer’s/dementia. This summer will be 10 years that she’s gone, and I miss the incredibly strong, confident, stubborn, funny woman she was before her brain committed treason.  I’d love to talk to her about current events and listen to her curse, mostly in Italian, while she watched the trainwreck that is the nightly news.  I’d ask her to teach me to cook the things she offered to teach me way back when that I was supposedly too busy to learn, including the right recipes for her damn holiday cookies.  But mostly, I’d love to watch her face light up with happiness and pride when she met her great granddaughters for the first time.